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i'm doing a not-so-quiet countdown till the kids leave for summer. 10 f***** school days to go!!! :) i think i'm the first teacher in campus who's blatantly announcing that i sooooo can't wait for vacay. :D *cue my kids* "no!!!! teacher gelaaaa!!!!" -ubo, ubo, ubo.
something weird happen lately... a jilted suitor popped out of nowhere and is now trying to update/ reconnect. being the person that i am, i assumed it was pretty ok since hello, that whole suitor thing was sooo college... what about 6-7years ago? so anyway, so here i am who went ahead and accepted the fb thing. wonder of wonders, he got to my email (i'm sooo not tech savvy, that's why i'm surprised) and started going for a chat. the first time we got online was pretty ok. the updates, the kumustas, bolahan and lokohan were there, but overall, ok, i suppose. i even told jeric about it and he didn't feel nor say anything iffy about it. (..which is kinda what i expected from mr.oh.so.confident! ;D)
the one from last night was weird though. i slept in too early yesterday that i accidentally woke up half past 2am this morning. went online to check email from co-teachers (and skim thru fb... hehehe!) when there we go again, he pops out of nowhere. weird. what were the chances that he was also going to be awake by that time too? anyway, chatting this am with him was sooo weird. and i sooo regret reconnecting. hello: i am NOT here to be his counselor/ psychiatrist. grabe: talk about hang ups! ugh. as usual, i'm disappointed to witness the age-old adage that people do get older, just not necessarily smarter, or, better. gawd. he's older than i am and he should be able to fend for himself. i'm so not here to mother older people. mother my kids, sure, but for grown up men?! excuse me while i roll my eyes.
argh. tanga ko ren that i tolerated the whole sorry chat thing for over 2hours... argh... going for invisible mode from now on. :) lurk lurk lurk...
i always thought that i had a one tracked- reason as to why i wanted to resign and leave the country all together... wonder of wonders, i got to sort my thoughts out as the big lady boss (ie: THE boss) sat me down yesterday about it... gawd: i never thought i had a deep- rooted 'disappointment' over a variety of things, which i guess, just got pent up, which i suppose, lead to this natural course of getting.up.to.leave.everything.behind.as.i.think.things.over.for.a.fresh.start.
the drop everything to start anew (be a BUM in a foreign land) is such a humongous step for me... and it's scaring the scrappy-doodles out of me... but somehow, i'm glad that THIS change of everything familiar might turn out to be a positive challenge. the force/push needed to bring about something good in the long run. *sigh* anyhow, i'm hoping that i won't BE a bum most of the time. REALLY hoping i get the most of my time by getting a chance to study a new course or something... hehehe! go lang ng go while people can still finance me! *haha!* besides, if THAT plan doesn't pan out, the big lady boss back here just got me completely stoked by offering me such a big piece of the action, that i'm thinking twice about saying no to it! *aaargh!* has she got me again?! gawd! i hope she doesn't reel me in too soon! but dang... she's going to put another one THERE, just to keep widdle ole me?! gawd... talk about ego boost!!
*curses!!!* where's a witness when you need one?! ;D
to watch people fall... and watch them get (satisfyingly!) grimey as their own **** hits the fan! :D teeheehee!
buti nga... that's what people get when they convene and plot and pointedly make an effort to disrupt and ruin my good day...
HA! they SOOO don't know who they're messing with. ;)
while my kids and i had fun, i gleefully watched 'them' pick up the spoils, stress and lick their wounds.
hmmph! that's what YOU get, biatches!!! muwahahaha!!! >:D
i mean, yeah, DUH.
but i never really took it into serious account, until yesterday.
*mind you: this is my ME moment. stop reading if you can't stand it.*
i've always felt personally good about myself since i'm always surrounded by tiny tots who love me unconditionally. the hugs, kisses, sweet hair caresses and the endless supply of little drawings and notes to teacher always made me feel happy, loved and beautiful here. :) my s.o. of over a decade never fails to make me blush with kilig with his one liners and sweet nothings. but strangely, i always thought that well, kids ARE kids, and would love their next adviser as much as they initially loved me, and my s.o., well, i kinda thought that it's the normal expected reaction when you're in a relationship for that long... i just never thought i was really attractive, till yesterday.
i gave a career talk to about 4 schools, who numbered to over 400 attendees. it was a mixed group US males and females. i guess it went pretty ok, since i got a lot active participation from both the guys and ladies during the event, which from my perspective, is a really good sign since that meant that they didn't find me THAT intimidating. :) so anyway, sure, i usually get hit-on by the professionals, but to get the flirty eye from several US senior students?! incredulous! i have to admit, that was a VERY nice ego boost! gawd knows how badly i needed one at the moment... but seriously, it was an unexpected reaction: i mean, yeah, hormones and pheromones ARE most likely to be high (given their age and the fact that it was a day before v-day), but given my size, my weight, my age, my profession... i didn't think i would be to their taste.. ;) not that they stood a chance. but still. it's just a ME moment taking over and talking here. a sliver of hope that yeah, maybe my kids and my s.o. aren't exactly biased with the way they treat and see me...
maybe i AM still puurrteee! ;D
i also came to realize that, much as i try, i can only take so much ear abuse at a get together... i will always be a bigger fan of just chatty gossiping and sensible conversation. i realized that i DO pass up on some people whom i assume probably grew up in some place where they were mountains away from each other: hollering and breaking sound barriers was a necessity they got used to, just to pass on the news to another village... *sigh* i'm sure there's a part of them that's pretty decent, but i guess i don't have much patience to wait for any sign of sensible intelligence when they start working on local celebrity gossip... don't get me wrong: i'm normally ok with any kind of thought, idea or hear-say anyone may want to share... it's just that i just CAN NOT tolerate hearing any of it in 'hard core PALENGKERA vernacular'. *ugh* i guess some habits are just hard to break for some (both mine and their's). i'm not all for straddling what seems to be my high horse, but i guess this is my 'me' moment. sounding like a boring ditz is my way of shoo-ing away people i just don't like at all.my way of weeding out the bad, i suppose. at least i'm not being outright rude... or am i?! heeheehee....
we just had our annual sportsfest in school, and you see parents/ teams backstabbing each other over a few measly points. parents complaining, crying and hollering... GAWD. all the backstabbing, rumor-mongering and the low blows are so *sigh* ridiculously pathetic. TACKY. and these are the supposed educated bracket?! unbelievable. no wonder the children turn out to be future brats... ick: you see your mom/ dad shouting, yelling, whining, boo-ing teams at a 'friendly family game'... ugh: the fruit wouldn't fall far from the tree... i feel so disgusted. they are such a pain....
and speaking of insecurities, a friend of mine mentioned a few moments ago that this pain-in-the-ass 'cohort' has TONS of insecurities... which explained her desperate and annoying behavior. DUH. she's so ironic. she's flippy brand-conscious because the poor person can hardly afford; she's quick to note and ask for relationship flaws because hers is so demented and retarded; she's so defensive on her 'communication prowess' because... well, ok: guess i'll stop there because i don't want to stoop that low. :) but seriously: i'm glad to know that i'm not the only one who finds her pathetic and annoying. not that i want people to rally and gang up on her, just to get even... but eitherway: HURRAH for the enlightened ones! ;)
and just so i can post it:
t.i: the manner and the content of things that a person speaks of and takes interest in DOES tell how intelligent you are. (duh, stupid.)
'rents: the family sportsfest is a time for children to enjoy the company of their parents while they are in school... activities done here are all just for fun and games. not a matter of life and death. it is an opportunity to celebrate unity in diversity, not a time to encourage rifts and create bigger, wider ravines among teammates and ripple family feuds.... besides: your children will be watching how you behave and handle a stressful/ high- pressure situation: don't you think you should behave appropriately as a way of setting a good example for your child? i'd hate to hear you complain about your child's tantrum: i might flip my head too far back while laughing at your face and blissfully break my neck!!! ;p
AAARGH.
they DID find something that explains the infernal headaches and the current maternal weirdness.
there was some unnatural growth, just as i expected. but, (like i also expected) it is nothing i should be worried about as the growth is only a few centimeters small and does not need any surgical attention at the moment. the doc prescribed me some meds to take to keep the migraines at bay. the only thing that bothers me though is that it is so freaking expensive that each tablet costs over a P100. darn it. does that mean no more beauty pampering for me?!
grr... after dragging my feet to the drugstore i figured i really DON"T want to spend on overpriced meds... i kind of thought that well, it's the growth that's acting like a natural birth-control anyway! unfortunately, my s.o. didn't quite see it the way i did... he almost whacked me on the side of my head for even considering such a thought... he's decided to shell out on all my maintenance meds while i get to keep my pampering money. (yey for spoiled, vain me!)
and oh... i didn't get to mention that i've started to apply for a teaching position in other schools while my plan to go study abroad is in sudden limbo... so far, i've already been to 2 interviews and another one on monday, which makes it to a total of 3. :) hehe: not a bad stat, considering the fact that i thought that everyone has freeze hired due to the economic slump... and to think that i just email blasted my resumè just last weekend? really: not bad at all...
