with great power comes great responsibility

and it apparently rings true. you do something extraordinary/ unexpected, and people will hound you for more.

good work is equivalent to more work. i thought that it just applies to where i live; apparently, there's a strong following in companies everywhere.

sometimes, i kinda feel like: "hey cool! they're taking notice of ordinary me." *blush* and so they shower me with public acknowledgments, let me take the reins to a start up project, consult me in making decisions, take me out to lunch/ dinner, etc... it's not that i'm ungrateful, because really, i truly am. but it's just that the ones that i just mentioned? they're not keeping me financially stable. in fact, they blind me with the facade of being a VIP, when truly, they're just casually putting a tighter collar around my neck so i can work out of 'delicadeza/' gratitude. *hmph!*

just last week, they called me in to meet up with an architect so we could 'pool' on what are the strengths and weaknesses of the school, what we can improve on, etc... geez, what a mismatch. i'm no architect, i have no background on structure, i am more aesthetically challenged than anyone, so why pick me? but i suppose it was STILL way better than being stuck at home, so, stupid, push-over me still went ahead with the meeting. that 'meeting' made me walk through all 5 campuses. in the dead of a VERY humid afternoon. thank GOD i brought my humongous doña fan. i candidly refer to that meeting as my 'campus tour' with the architect. :) hehehe! (i wasn't laughing in the heat then)

we had our first ptc for the academic year (teachers like me usually get so stressed and worked up at this time) this week, so i didn't really get around giving my feedback/ evaluation till yesterday (saturday, 2AM for that matter). gawd. i was late for a stupid report, that they're not even expecting/ asking for, for a full week. what a horrible employee i am. and ang kapal ko: i sent it straight to the top for review. i'm talking ceo, mentor and owner of the school. how about that. and it was no formal report; i just managed to type away in exactly the same way that i'm writing now. sheez. i sent the same message to my immediate boss as well (just in case) and she thanked me for being 'comprehensive' about it. the BIG BOSS on the other hand, wants to send her an sms of my free schedule so i can take time out to meet up with her on monday/ tuesday so she'd see exactly what i was talking about. she wants all the other engineers, architects and iso safety people to tag along as well so they'd know how to fix the flaws, asap. holler?! who's power tripping?

i have to admit though that this is a growing addiction. i usually have the perfect excuse to not spend so much time at home since i'd need to meet up with them, have an emergency meeting, visit a site, attend a seminar, share a thanksgiving dinner, host an event; god knows how eternally gratefully i am to things/ people that help me avoid hanging at the house.. going back, i'm also one of the few employees who see right through their power tripping facade and have a mental picture of each person, guffawing over a joke, eating a burrito, getting dirty and harassed... i also get to hear what, why and when something is going to happen; i know of the inside stuff before it gets out, and how can i ignore the oh.so.yummy.chismis about everyone else?! *grrr* i'm eternally curious... i like to be updated (maybe i's the communication graduate in me), and like i said: it's addicting.

but all those nice things i enjoy also play a role as to why i consider leaving. i'm now well aware of the flaws of the everyone, of the entire institution for that matter; the dirt everyone is hiding; the facts that some are denying. i even know of the company's so called beauty, inside and out. that the wizard's first rule really applies to all this. "people will believe what they want to believe." you show them half an apple and keep on telling the crowd that it's a whole apple, eventually they will take it on as a gloriously amazing truth. tell them an apple is an eco- friendly commodity, and they'll buy it, even though it really isn't as good as they say... (hehe! sidetracking again...) but really: sometimes it's not right to know too much. unfortunately, i fit the bill of that state-witness that everyone wants dead. i know too much and i know how it really works. and it's frustrating to know that somehow, i AM playing a role in the elaborate stage play that is ****.

*aaargh* is it march yet?! i have to leave...