feels weird

i'm doing a not-so-quiet countdown till the kids leave for summer. 10 f***** school days to go!!! :) i think i'm the first teacher in campus who's blatantly announcing that i sooooo can't wait for vacay. :D *cue my kids* "no!!!! teacher gelaaaa!!!!" -ubo, ubo, ubo.

something weird happen lately... a jilted suitor popped out of nowhere and is now trying to update/ reconnect. being the person that i am, i assumed it was pretty ok since hello, that whole suitor thing was sooo college... what about 6-7years ago? so anyway, so here i am who went ahead and accepted the fb thing. wonder of wonders, he got to my email (i'm sooo not tech savvy, that's why i'm surprised) and started going for a chat. the first time we got online was pretty ok. the updates, the kumustas, bolahan and lokohan were there, but overall, ok, i suppose. i even told jeric about it and he didn't feel nor say anything iffy about it. (..which is kinda what i expected from mr.oh.so.confident! ;D)

the one from last night was weird though. i slept in too early yesterday that i accidentally woke up half past 2am this morning. went online to check email from co-teachers (and skim thru fb... hehehe!) when there we go again, he pops out of nowhere. weird. what were the chances that he was also going to be awake by that time too? anyway, chatting this am with him was sooo weird. and i sooo regret reconnecting. hello: i am NOT here to be his counselor/ psychiatrist. grabe: talk about hang ups! ugh. as usual, i'm disappointed to witness the age-old adage that people do get older, just not necessarily smarter, or, better. gawd. he's older than i am and he should be able to fend for himself. i'm so not here to mother older people. mother my kids, sure, but for grown up men?! excuse me while i roll my eyes.

argh. tanga ko ren that i tolerated the whole sorry chat thing for over 2hours... argh... going for invisible mode from now on. :) lurk lurk lurk...

unbelievable

i always thought that i had a one tracked- reason as to why i wanted to resign and leave the country all together... wonder of wonders, i got to sort my thoughts out as the big lady boss (ie: THE boss) sat me down yesterday about it... gawd: i never thought i had a deep- rooted 'disappointment' over a variety of things, which i guess, just got pent up, which i suppose, lead to this natural course of getting.up.to.leave.everything.behind.as.i.think.things.over.for.a.fresh.start.

the drop everything to start anew (be a BUM in a foreign land) is such a humongous step for me... and it's scaring the scrappy-doodles out of me... but somehow, i'm glad that THIS change of everything familiar might turn out to be a positive challenge. the force/push needed to bring about something good in the long run. *sigh* anyhow, i'm hoping that i won't BE a bum most of the time. REALLY hoping i get the most of my time by getting a chance to study a new course or something... hehehe! go lang ng go while people can still finance me! *haha!* besides, if THAT plan doesn't pan out, the big lady boss back here just got me completely stoked by offering me such a big piece of the action, that i'm thinking twice about saying no to it! *aaargh!* has she got me again?! gawd! i hope she doesn't reel me in too soon! but dang... she's going to put another one THERE, just to keep widdle ole me?! gawd... talk about ego boost!!

*curses!!!* where's a witness when you need one?! ;D