unbelievable

i always thought that i had a one tracked- reason as to why i wanted to resign and leave the country all together... wonder of wonders, i got to sort my thoughts out as the big lady boss (ie: THE boss) sat me down yesterday about it... gawd: i never thought i had a deep- rooted 'disappointment' over a variety of things, which i guess, just got pent up, which i suppose, lead to this natural course of getting.up.to.leave.everything.behind.as.i.think.things.over.for.a.fresh.start.

the drop everything to start anew (be a BUM in a foreign land) is such a humongous step for me... and it's scaring the scrappy-doodles out of me... but somehow, i'm glad that THIS change of everything familiar might turn out to be a positive challenge. the force/push needed to bring about something good in the long run. *sigh* anyhow, i'm hoping that i won't BE a bum most of the time. REALLY hoping i get the most of my time by getting a chance to study a new course or something... hehehe! go lang ng go while people can still finance me! *haha!* besides, if THAT plan doesn't pan out, the big lady boss back here just got me completely stoked by offering me such a big piece of the action, that i'm thinking twice about saying no to it! *aaargh!* has she got me again?! gawd! i hope she doesn't reel me in too soon! but dang... she's going to put another one THERE, just to keep widdle ole me?! gawd... talk about ego boost!!

*curses!!!* where's a witness when you need one?! ;D